Source: Reddit
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If you’ve been on the internet long enough, then you’ve definitely heard of Reddit and of its super famous Am I The A**hole subreddit (also known as AITA).
In it, people from all over share their stories and ask fellow redditors to weigh in, were they the a**hole? Or were they in the right?
Well today, I’ll be sharing with you three AITA stories of patients vs nurses, and together, we can decide who was the real a**hole.
These stories may be fake––as much of Reddit is, but they give us the opportunity to discuss what it means to work as a nurse in this day and age.
Are you ready?
I hope you enjoy this episode as much as I did, so let’s dive right in!
Story #1: AITA for Talking Back to a Rude Nurse?
“Today I (F21) was at the hospital with my mom (F49) and my grandmother (F64) because my grandma was being admitted as tomorrow she’ll be having surgery for a hernia in the stomach. She was told to get there at 10am and ended up waiting until 2pm, so we were just there to support her and keep her company.
Now a relevant detail is I am fat. Not chubby, not morbidly obese, just plain old fat. Jiggly arms, fat thighs and rolls on my stomach and back. I can move, although I run quite slowly, I can wash myself fine, I don’t have trouble breathing. The only medical problem I have is a hormonal imbalance which is likely the cause of half of my weight (the other half is food, because I like to eat). The other relevant detail is that obesity runs in the family and both my mother and grandma had a gastric bypass so they could lose weight, but they were far heavier than me now.
Back to the waiting room, we sat there until a nurse showed up to tell my grandma where to go. She looks at me up and down, saying she didn’t recognize me. At this point I was smiling and ready for a pleasant session of small talk, but she wasn’t. She looks me dead in the eyes and with the most patronizing voice ever she says: “Are we thinking about losing weight?”. This woman, without knowing my name, my age, my story or my medical background just freaking blurted out this phrase nonchalantly. I was mortified and the smile died on my face. I was so shocked I chuckled a bit and said “Is this all you can think about me the first time you see me?” I tried to maintain eye contact while still being pleasant and not rude.
She started to explain that she’s a nurse, she wants to prevent people from being ill and this was part of her job, that she didn’t mean to upset me, but if she did she’s probably right, that if she didn’t have that uniform on she would have never said that. I highly doubt it as she was about to clock out and my grandma was waiting for almost four hours at this point but she found the time to lecture me unprompted about my weight in front of the whole waiting room. Many of my friends told me she probably did it in bad faith and then justified herself behind her scrubs.
Then it was time for my grandma to go to her room and she finally left. I told my mother that I felt violated and she basically said to suck it up and go listen because she was doing it out of concern. She told me it was rude of me to keep an angry demeanor (even though I didn’t raise my voice, I just didn’t give in to her explanation and kept eye contact, while upset). She said that I should have agreed with her, since it’s true, and not start a discussion. AITA?”
Here’s what the top comment said: “NTA. There was absolutely no reason for her to be rude or to make that comment. You weren’t the patient. Even if you were, unless the reason for the visit is weight related or weight is a factor, that’s for a DOCTOR to tell you. Her job was to help your grandma. So take the unsolicited advice and shove it up her a** that only a colonoscopy can find it. So unprofessional of her. Also, she doesn’t know you. Imagine if you had an eating disorder, body dysmorphia or something, or a medical condition. She didn’t know you, didn’t have your medical chart in front of her and just ran her mouth. I’d actually escalate it to a supervisor because it was entirely inappropriate, unprofessional and, contrary to her belief, uncaring.”
I agree with this commenter, and in this case, the OP––which means “Original poster”––is in the right. What’s the point of even making this comment to someone who’s not even your patient?
Another comment stated: “NTA. Report her. Healthcare professionals who talk like that to patients are the reason a lot of people don’t trust their doctors or nurses.”
Not everything has to be reported, but this should be. It was such an unnecessary comment and sometimes nurses just forget that we need to be therapeutic. This OP, who is not a patient, may end up not feeling comfortable trusting healthcare staff if this is the impression they get.
This person responded in a polite manner that made her the bigger person. The consensus in the comment section is that the OP is not the a**hole.
Story #2: AITA for Exploding at a Nurse Who Told Me I “Should Really Get a Job”?
“I had to go to the ER after being sent there from my primary care doctor, as I was experiencing some really weird symptoms (a strange rash on my body, my blood pressure and pulse were super high, and I had a pretty high fever). I routinely take pain medication for a disorder I have that caused me to have to have 3 surgeries, one of which complicated things even more. Naturally, this is all on my chart so the hospital was aware of my medication usage.
I’ve had to deal with doctors assuming I’m an addict before, but I figured it would be fine that time because I was literally sent to the hospital (my doctor even called ahead to let them know he was sending me there) and had visible symptoms that had nothing to do with opioids or opioid use. However, the doctor refused to take me seriously and ended up leaving me in a room with the door closed for 6 hours as my symptoms got worse and worse.
At one point during this, a nurse came in to put in an IV. As she was doing this, she informed me that the doctor was taking his time to see me because he assumed I was in withdrawal. That was ridiculous, because I had even brought and shown him my full bottle of medication (the pills were stamped too so he could see what they were and that I wasn’t trying to pull off some sort of half-baked lying scheme to get meds) so he’d know it wasn’t withdrawal. I got pissed about that and asked the nurse to please let the doctor know that I was not in withdrawal, they could test my blood and find out for sure if they didn’t believe me. She ignored what I’d said and instead responded with, “You know, these sorts of issues happen a lot less to people who find ways to fill their days and be productive. You should really consider getting a job.”
To be clear, I HAVE a job. A full-time job with a major tech company. Her comment was the cherry on top of an already shitty experience. I flipped out and said “B*tch, I have a job. It’s full-time with [X company] and I probably make a hell of a lot more than you do. And I don’t treat my clients like pieces of s**t like you do.” I definitely raised my voice as well.
I admit, that was probably over the line. But she was making assumptions about me and treating me like garbage. My friend who was with me at the ER got really embarrassed, called me a d*ck, and left. I ended up finally being admitted to the hospital after a few more hours and after a few days, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition that was causing all of my symptoms.
I’ve been considering reporting the nurse and the doctor. I know I told them off, but I feel like I was justified. My friend who was with me still thinks I’m an a**hole for blowing up at the nurse and thinks reporting them would make me an even bigger a**hole. I really truly believe I was justified, but I want some other opinions before I potentially damage two people’s careers. AITA?
Edit for some extra info: I was there in that room for a total of 12 hours before I was finally just admitted, and at that point they hadn’t even run any tests to see what was going on. They took a urine sample when I first arrived but that’s it. One of my symptoms was also a really bad rash, which I don’t believe is associated with withdrawal and they could have learned that I was not in withdrawal by checking my blood or even just acknowledging the full bottle of pills I had with me and showed them. I also did request a new nurse and doctor, twice, but nothing ever happened.
Last edit: Thank you all for your comments and thoughts! This has given me some perspective, and while I definitely should not have responded so harshly and rudely to the nurse, I will be reaching out to the hospital to find out what avenue I need to take to report this. I think it’s clear to me that my response to the nurse was wrong, but the way the whole situation was handled by the hospital and their staff was egregious and needs to be reported. If my illness had been more serious and time-sensitive, the outcome could have been much much worse.”
Here’s what the top comment said: “I’m a nursing student as we speak. NTA. Report the *beep* out of her. Get her fired, if you can, and don’t stop until she’s the one complaining about not having a job. That’s so unprofessional and out of line it’s not even funny. I wouldn’t dream of saying something like that to a patient.”
I absolutely agree that the nurse should be reported. This situation may not get the nurse fired, but it should bring awareness to the ER staff that patients coming in with an assumed drug addiction should also be looked at for other potential problems.
Life-threatening issues can be missed and really cause permanent damage. I understand the pressure that ER staff have that other departments do not and the amount of rudeness they deal with on a daily basis. ER nurses are absolute angels and they can get to their breaking point. However, like another comment stated, “addicts still deserve health care.” But without even testing the patient, the nurse or doctor should not just assume it is an addiction issue.
What I appreciate about this OP is the self-awareness to reflect on how harsh the response was to the nurse. In the end, two wrongs don’t make a right and the consensus is that the OP is NOT the a**hole.
Story #3: AITA For Getting A Nurse Fired During a Healthcare/Job Crisis?
“I (23F) have a port placed in my chest for IV medication and blood draw access. If my port isn’t being used at least once a month, I have to get it flushed monthly. I’ve been going to my local infusion clinic at my hospital for flushing. The last two times I’ve had the same nurse. Last time she didn’t feel for my port and just went to sticking based on the scar. She put the needle in the wrong spot and it was pressed up against the bottom sidewall of my port and the pain was excruciating. I was crying and yelling for her to stop and she just kept trying to dig around and pull and push saline to get a blood return. She didn’t stop until my partner (26M) stepped in and told her to stop. She told me my port was occluded and to see my doctor. It was fairly new so I called my doc immediately and he got me in and it flushed and returned just fine. Images were good too.
I go back last week and she’s the one doing it again. This time I moved around my port and showed her where it was. She acted shocked and told me it was weird that it was above my scar instead of below and told me in her 20 years she has never seen that. I have had my port accessed many times by now and know the sterile procedure pretty well by now. She seemed really spaced out and all over the place that day. I asked her if she was okay and she called it a “case of the Mondays”. She continued to get things ready and didn’t wash her hands before putting on gloves, then used her normal gloves to open all the sterile stuff, didn’t put on the sterile mask “because she already had one” and didn’t put on the sterile gloves. She ran around opening drawers for flushes and putting things in the trash can before going straight into flushing my port. She did put the drape down over my shirt. At the end she gave me the sterile gloves and mask “so they didn’t go to waste.” I was really upset. I had to stop my partner from causing a scene because he saw it all and was pretty upset himself. I am at a slight infection risk, but what about every cancer patient that comes into that clinic for chemotherapy?? Who she also probably accesses?? I immediately went home and reported my experience. And then called my doctor and explained in a message. I got a call today that they investigated and let her go. I’m now feeling guilty because nurses are so overworked right now and we live in a fairly small town. My mom (who is a former nurse) said we overreacted and should have just asked to not get her next time. AITA?”
Here’s what the top comment said: “You did the right thing, NTA. Both my mother and mother-in-law have had to have chemo, and man, if I’d seen a nurse behave like that I would have been upset! Procedure is created for reasons that usually involve someone dying in the past, and so no, you didn’t overreact. You probably prevented the eventual death of a patient.”
I agree with this comment. As a nurse and a daughter who watched her dad go through cancer, this would have upset me for sure.
I would like my family members and myself to be treated the way I treat my patients. There’s a reason why handwashing and infection control are hot topics on the NCLEX and nursing exams. The actions a nurse takes or doesn’t take can make the difference between life and death.
Another commenter stated: “NTA. I’m a nurse and I hope I’d be fired if I ever treat a patient like that.”
Here’s another comment from a nurse: “Fellow RN here, and I agree. The principles of maintaining a sterile field are a pretty basic thing, especially for someone who works in an infusion center! This nurse is unsafe, and you saved a future patient from a complication. They let her go because your complaint was 100% valid. NTA!”
The consensus from the comment section is that the OP is not the a**hole!
These three stories show that nurses’ words and actions can really affect a patient. This reminds us to be compassionate and to follow the necessary protocol to provide these vulnerable patients the best hospital or clinic experience possible.
